things are closer than they appear

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I looked into the rear-view mirror of my brother's beat up cavalier.

"objects in mirror are closer than they appear"

That seemed all too real to me.

Let me rewind a bit.

My baby sister was outside with all my brothers just playing and laughing like normal on the sunny day.
They had just gotten out of the pool and were air drying by running around with my grandma's 8-year-old dog who is still, despite his growing age, rambunctious.

Only moments later in the picture-esq scene did things go awry.

In a flash he jumped up in anger and bit my helpless sister.
His teeth ripped a hole in the side of her face and claw marks on her once perfectly plump cheeks.

Before I write more, Aliyah is okay and just as sassy as ever.

My uncle and grandma ran outside in haste and rushed her to the ER.
Soon after giving her some medicine, they sent her on to a bigger hospital to have surgery.

Two-years of age and she has to have stitches all over the right side of her face and her forehead.

Why her?

After pacing the floor nearly all day, that evening I finally get the call that she made it through
surgery well and they expect a fully recovery. 

I felt like I could finally breathe again and I wasn't carrying as heavy a load on my back.
My heart ached to hold my little being close to my chest and not let go.
Just the night before she had kissed me on my forehead and told me she loved me for the first time. 

Yet still, I felt like a piece of my soul was not intact.

The one little thing that completely altered my whole day, my whole life, snapped something in me. It brought out emotions I didn't even know could be felt. I wasn't aware that someone so tiny could  have such a tremendous influence on my feelings. But after all this was over and she was home snuggling me to death, something still didn't sit right. I felt like I was still missing a piece of information, like I wasn't told the whole story.

And then, I had a relization that changed my whole mind set.

"my whole life is closer than appears"

Right there.

I had an anomaly that my whole world was only held up by one small finger and could be blown away in a single breathe.

In the bat of an eyelash my whole life could be eternally changed for the better or for the worse.

So what did I get from this?

That my life is much closer than it seems.

Too often I find myself waiting around for life to happen or pushing off spur of the moment ideas.

I want to jump in the freeing pool of unknown and know that I am alive and that I am breathing.

I want to feel the blazing sun against my cheeks to feel the light in my bones.

Life is short, I want to live it well.

I'm not gonna play it safe any more.

Mediocrity has come and I have decided to show it the door, for the King is coming and He's calling for the ones who will do something extraordinary.

Do you ever just get tired of being who you are? Don't you feel like you could do more?

Maybe that's too much for you.

But Jesus didn't say to take it slow and safe.

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That being said, new things are coming! Keep an eye out for a very important post on Saturday!

Much love for you people,

JacyRayn xx