Saturday, March 27, 2021

thoughts

 it's so strange that in such a 

short time 

our minds begin to change and suddenly we're looking back over our shoulders 

trying to find our lost time 

i feel trapped by my thoughts most days 

they glue me to a chair and tangle up my mind 

but no more i shouted 

no more


 please 


i whispered 

i did not think i had the power to make them go away 

the thoughts that ran ragged 

and it's true, i don't 

and i never will 


but everytime i fall, you take my hand 

you see the cuts and bruises 

you smile 

i see the tears in your eyes 

you are still so proud of me 

why aren't you mad that i fell again? 

how are you still so proud of me? 


you hug me 

i hear you say


peace, child


and then they're gone

Thursday, April 23, 2020

untitled

i always wanted to be a writer

a musician

a artist

someone who loves the skin that hugs their bones so comfortably

someone who just plain and simple loved their self

but when i tried to make myself into the things that i was not

tidy

on-time

emotionally detached and unable to feel hurt

i became something i was not

pretending to be tidy made my mind a mess

trying to be fifteen minutes early everywhere made me stay home

and denying myself the ability to process made me

n u m b. 

in this search of myself

what should be a pursuit of joy

i had merely just organized chaos and shoved it in my heart

and boy does it hurt when it explodes...

but

when i let go of myself

when i bury the control that i want to keep

i became free to write a poem about the sky

sing a silly song about the trees

and smell the paint stained on my old t-shirt

and suddenly it's not about what i can do

but it becomes about how beautiful it is that there are things i cannot do

because after all this time,

i am not defined by what i have the ability to do or become

i am defined by love that is so graciously given to me

that my friends

is what it means to be f ree

-jr


Saturday, October 13, 2018

the thief

what a shame it is, i thought to myself

as i watched other people die out

the passion that they had, now gone

because comparison came and ate their flame

had they only seen what i saw in them, i said

they were almost there, they almost saw the end

until they saw the people who were already there

the people who already peaked

the people who had their dreams in their hands

but your dream was so close, you were right on the verge

you could not see it

but i could

still you let it die

along with your heart

your passion, dreams, and victory, you let them all part

how could you do this? i said again

are you just going to let the enemy win?

but while i was watching you, rise then fall from your dreams

i forgot about myself while comparing to you

and

i let go of my thoughts

i let go of my dreams

i unraveled at the seams

i 've forgotten how to be me

Sunday, February 4, 2018

BREATHER

you took a little piece of me

i bet you've forgotten you have it

tucked away in a book with a dog-eared page

that piece of my heart sat

but then you packed all your books away

you sealed the top tight

away went that piece of my heart

yet i stayed quiet

i figured out i dont need that piece

to be whole is to give it all away

yet hope some day you'll lend me that book

so that i can see you still kept it

that little piece of my heart

that i'll never forget





here's some random poetry i wrote on the spot about some random heart feelings. i took a breather! (if you hadn't already noticed my absence) i was quite overwhelmed with life for a few months! i hope you'll forgive me and understand. lots of crazy good and just plain crazy things happening in life right now! i got accepted to COLLEGE! Whaaa?! I graduate highschool in three months!! Super crazy, guys. I've also been working on my first NOVEL. My eldest brother moved out. There is so much going on y'all! i have much love for you guys! i'm back on the blogtrain. (choo choo!) exciting news coming soon! stay tuned.

-jr

Sunday, October 1, 2017

simple smiles

guilty 

guilty of coveting the girl on my media 

her hair, her clothes, her smile

her quirky little captions and the places she goes

i throw myself into her cute shoes

pretend that her friends are mine and wonder what it'd be like to be her

to live a day in her seemingly picture perfect world

...

but then i wonder

how many girls

look at me

and say the same things?

do we have an unending circle

of wanting to be each other?

what if we learned to love our own lives?

the off-camera moments of

the loud car rides

the undocumented laughter and love

do we take those moments for granted

just because they're not cropped and edited?

we plaster ourselves with a 'melancholy' label

because we didn't go see that band

or capture the right angle

but the truth is: life is messy

your life deserves to be enjoyed

not filtered

take pictures

but take them of sunsets going 80 down the freeway

of yourself, laughing over a stupid joke

 of your friends and your family

so what if your life is simple?

it's simply beautiful

no one except you gets to experience your life

so turn off the screen

and smile a little wider

cut loose and dance

but most importantly

don't forget that you are the only you

and no one can take you away

----------------------------------------------------------

just some thoughts i've had on my mind! love you all! <3

-jacyrayn

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

scars



certain favors

specific words

voices

remind me of the list I keep

of those who have done me wrong

these things make me remember the pain

run my fingers along the scars

think of the times before they let me down

my flesh angers at the thought of the wound

i feel it well up inside

then Your hand grabbed mine

You looked me in the eye

And said "child, look at mine"

the scars on your hands

worse than my own

held every wrong

all of the shame

they reminded me of the marks

that I have put on other people

while I selfishly look at my own

you took all the blame

you remembered no more

the pain

the scars to show

life is not bruises cuts and past wrongs

it's forgiving and learning to grow

---------------------------------------------------------------

just some messy thoughts for you


-jr xx



Tuesday, August 1, 2017

BLOG TOUR Q&A WITH K.A. EMMONS (THE BLOOD RACE)

(Thank you Abbie, for the beautiful graphics)





Hello my lovely blog friends!

Today on the blog I am hosting an interview with the lovely K. A. Emmons(Or you may just know her as Kate)! Her new book "The Blood Race" has just debuted, and let me just tell you guys, it is out of this world. If you don't know anything about Kate or the book, scroll to the bottom and there is an about section, and links to buy her book! So, without further delay, let's start this interview! 

***

JR: "What was your biggest inspiration for this book?"
EMMONS: My biggest inspiration was this beautiful and motivating idea that we are each powerful and filled with potential. We are each more than we seem.

We’re all on a journey to find out who we are, and who we have been created to be, and that same journey is what propels the main characters Hawk and Ion through the story.
JR: "Did this book help you grow as a person and/or writer?"
EMMONS: Both, for sure. I always learn things from writing a book - or anything, for that matter. A novel, a poem, a blog post, something on a scrap of paper that maybe only I will ever see… when I write, I feel God most. I often feel Him communicating with me through the words, and many times I will sit back, stare at a particular line that just “flowed” without my intellectualizing it, and think “wow… that was for me.” 
The creation of The Blood Race was filled with moments like that.
JR: "Do you ever put your own traits or people around you into characters?"
EMMONS: For sure. Though, typically I never say who or which character, because I don’t want to assign a particular physique or personality to a character based on a real life person, I want the reader to imagine that for themselves. BUT, it does happen in some instances, for sure. I think that’s part of the fun of writing though… collecting beautiful snippets from real life, changing them ‘round a bit, and popping them into your latest work of fiction.
JR: "Where is your favorite place to write?" 
EMMONSAt my desk in mine and my sister’s shared office (the walls are multicolored and covered in art, & Napali flags hang from the ceiling), or at my parent’s dining room table, where I’ve written since I was eleven and probably younger. I love to be in the center of our (usually pretty quiet) house… and of course being close to the kitchen is always a big plus!
JR: "If you could give any one piece of advice to your fellow writers, what would it be?"
EMMONS
I always give the same answer on this one: WRITE YOU. Writing is an art, and there is no right or wrong way to make art, despite what the critics may say. Make your art like only you can, write your story with your unique voice, don’t strive to adopt someone else’s tone. If you want your story to be unique and interesting, bring some Y O U to the page - you won’t regret it, and your readers will have read nothing like it before.
JR: "Last, but definitely not least, are you already working on your next project?"
EMMONS
Yes, ma’am! In between all the bustle of The Blood Race’s release, I have been lost in a pair of headphones and a mug of coffee writing the last few chapters of the second book in The Blood Race series. I am already giddy with excitement to share it!
Thank you so much, Jacy, for having me on your wonderful blog!
-





A huge thank you to Kate for taking the time to answer some questions and just being a rad human! If you haven't already, you need to get your hands (or device) on a copy of the The Blood Race! 

***



     A LITTLE ABOUT KATE 
When she’s not hermiting away in her colorfully-painted home office writing her next science fiction, passionate story-teller and adventurer Kate Emmons is probably on the road for a surf or hiking trip, listening to vinyls, or going for a power run. Emmons lives in the often-snowy hills of rugged Vermont with her husband and dog named Rocket.

                                      Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kaemmonsauthor/
                                Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebloodrace/
                                       Twitter: https://twitter.com/emmonswrites





WHERE YOU CAN BUY "THE BLOOD RACE"